You don’t have to hit to hurt

Published 12:53 pm Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Hyde County Hotline’s May newsletter summarizes emotional abuse, which goes far beyond argument and raised voices.

Jeffrey A. Lieberman, the director of the New York State Psychiatric Institute, describes emotional abuse as “a pervasive imbalance of power in a relationship.”

The Australian Institute of Family Studies identifies five “behavioral forms” that can cause this imbalance of power: rejection, isolation, terrorizing, ignoring, and/or corrupting.

This can play out in a number of different ways. It might be emotional abuse if someone in your life is:

  1. Constantly criticizing what you do, say, or look like
  2. Shaming or blaming you for your behavior, either subtly or implicitly
  3. Calling you names — even when you ask them to stop
  4. Humiliating you at home and in public
  5. Threatening you or those you care for if you don’t do what they want
  6. Threatening to hurt themselves if you don’t do what they want
  7. Using ultimatums to get you to do or say what they want
  8. On the flip side, withholding communication or affection from you if you don’t do what they want (e.g., giving you the silent treatment)
  9. Logging into your email, phone, or social media profiles without your permission
  10. Discouraging you from spending time with other people, going to work or school, or other necessary appointments
  11. Controlling your finances or other assets

12.Deflecting blame or their responsibility for any of the above actions, leaving you to feel like you’re the one at fault (aka, gaslighting)

Hyde County Hotline, based in Engelhard, provides crisis intervention, domestic and sexual violence advocacy, human trafficking advocacy, survivor services, safe shelter, support groups, referrals, programs and presentations, and participates with DSS Work First program.

Hyde County Hotline does not discriminate regardless of race, color, sex or sexual orientation.

Hyde County Hotline’s 24-hour crisis number is 252-925-2500.

The office telephone is 252-925-2502.