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This weekend, I’ll be heading up to Northeastern Ohio to visit my best friend and spend some time in prayer and solitude. He and I have a history of visiting monasteries together, and we are long overdue for a retreat. We’ll be staying somewhere in the Mohican State Park, where the songs of the birds and the voice of the wind will join us in our prayers.

While the praying is important, it’s really the time with my friend that I am looking forward to the most. Not because I prefer the company of my friend to the love of God, but precisely because my friend Derek shows me God’s love and makes me a better person every time we get together. We met as enemies in our first-year seminary discussion group. He didn’t like me, and I didn’t like him. But, as fate would have it (or the hand of God), we wound up together on a monastic retreat and discovered that we worked so much better as friends than enemies.

Without Derek’s friendship, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. There’s a line in the Bible that says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.” That’s a fancy way of saying people can make each other better. Derek has challenged me to be bolder in my convictions. From Derek, I have learned a different kind of kindness and generosity than I had known before. His preaching has challenged me to be the best and most faithful preacher I can be, and when I just need a shoulder to cry on, he’s always there for me.

Who in your life has helped you to become the best version of yourself? Who in your life have you helped to become the best version of themselves? It’s this kind of energy that is so desperately needed in the world right now. We have become accustomed to tearing into each other as we practice cruelty and brutality. We are obsessed with our individual successes and triumphs because we have been told that our success is what matters most in life. Such hyper-individualism is part of the story we tell ourselves as Americans.

Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way. We are not past the point of no return. We do not have to descend further into an abyss of loneliness and self-centeredness. Be honest with yourself. When was the last time you felt excited, truly excited, by the idea of helping someone? When was the last time you felt yourself not just supported, but celebrated by those in your life? It’s easier to send out joy and love when we ourselves receive them first. However, with the state of the world as it is, perhaps it’s time to stop waiting for others to do what we ourselves should have been doing all along. It’s time for us to take the first steps into another world, a world where generosity, kindness, and civility rule the day. It’s time for you to be an agent of change in your context.

And if nobody is pouring kindness and encouragement into you, give me a call at 252-946-8151 or email me at chris@saintpetersnc.org. I may not know you yet, but I already love you and want the absolute best for you. In honor of my friend Derek, I’m cheering you on, my friends!

Chris Adams is the Rector at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Washington.