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By Chris Adams

Bob Dylan may not have been a prophet in the Biblical sense, but some of his lyrics seem prophetic, nevertheless. If your time to you is worth savin’, and you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changin’.

You don’t even have to enjoy the strangeness of his voice to agree that he speaks the truth. The times are a-changin’ in almost every conceivable way. Socially, politically, and culturally, it seems like change is the order of the day and it is our job to either get with the program or step out of the way of progress and forward-motion.

Not just in massive, earth-shattering ways, but in ways more personal and private, change is always happening. And, since we’re all friends, let’s be honest with one another. Change is often uninvited and undesired. When the comfort of our daily life is upended and challenged by something we didn’t ask for, it’s hard to acclimate. It’s hard to get used to the new status quo.

But what do we do when the change on the horizon isn’t just something we didn’t ask for, but is something we absolutely hate with every fiber of our being? What do we do when the change on the way represents something actually scary, something that upends more than just the comfort of our life, but our very life itself?

Cutting to the chase, there’s only one thing to do in the face of a scary, unwanted change we have no control over: accept it. Acceptance is key to enduring the changes that come our way and learning to thrive in the new reality, the new status quo. It seems easy enough, but it’s a tall order. Accepting what we don’t want is hard enough. But learning to accept something that we actually hate, or that we resist with all our might? That seems impossible.
It’s possible, though. It may be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do but learning to accept what you cannot change is necessary if you don’t want life’s changes to shove you down and crush you beneath the weight of their reality.

I’m not just writing theoretically. I’m speaking from experience. My life has been subjected to twists and turns I never wanted. Painful changes that brought me near the brink of collapse, though, gave way to a beauty and love I could never have imagined was possible. Yet, I would have missed that beauty if I hadn’t come to grips with those unwanted and uninvited changes. Had I not accepted that which I couldn’t change, I would still be trying to reach for what used to be and would have missed the goodness of life that only revealed itself after I weathered the storms of chaos.

If all of this sounds like a bunch of inky nonsense printed in the newspaper, and you don’t know where to begin, I’ll suggest a prayer I’ve used when these changes have come my way: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I used this prayer when my life collapsed before my very eyes, and I’ll keep using it because the only guarantee in life is that change will come my way again. You are strong enough to endure whatever comes your way. But don’t fight it. Endure it. Accept it. And then find new life on the other side.

Chris Adams is the Rector of St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Washington.