Would that I had the wordsmith skills to tell you what I see and hear when I attend one of the Barbershop Harmony Society’s annual conventions and contests.

Well, I don’t. Even though I’ve been to 11, in various cities across the land, coming home and attempting to relate the experience to others — those who have never heard such harmonic excellence, nor seen jaw-dropping choreography — is a can’t-do-it proposition.

Especially almost mind-bending is the choreography of so many of the choruses. Often they will have a thematic presentation, e.g. World War I, World War II, famous musical productions, marching bands, athletic settings, just about anything their creativity motivates them to do. Why, I’ve seen the curtain drawn back to reveal — across the entire stage — an aquarium, with all of the inhabitants of such an aquatic environment. And the songs often have lyrics adapted to match the theme. Clever beyond belief.

The choruses who have made it through all the qualifying events in their respective districts will have anywhere from 40 to 100-plus singers on stage. The hours upon hours that go into practicing toward perfection are almost numbing to the participants, I’m sure.

I particularly recall one production presented by the Alexandria Harmonizers. With 80-plus singers they did a wonderful sketch, replete with all the characters you would expect to see in a very large store’s toyland.

Picture, if you will, all the inanimate figures — at night when the store is closed — you know, toy soldiers, a jack-in-the-box, stuffed animals, dolls and on and on, all of whom come to life. It’s pure theatrical magic, and the singing is of a quality rarely ever heard in the realm of present-day popular music. Perhaps never.

One song stood out. A skunk, obviously little loved by his fellow toyland inhabitants, sang “If I Ruled the World” with the mighty chorus in harmonic support.

His theme was that he would strive to make this world a better place. There would be love, and tolerance, and forgiveness, and understanding, and an appreciation of the beauty and goodness our world really can offer.

It was a powerful few minutes done in non pareil fashion. And it really did make you believe that such a world might become a reality someday.

Well, now. I suspect that’s enough of my waxing enthusiastic about one of my almost life-long avocational/musical passions.

And, oh how I wish you could see and hear, just once in your life, what we barbershoppers love so much when we partake of it at the highest level. You would be almost incredulous.

You would quite probably be at a loss for words adequate to explain your reaction, your emotions.

‘Tis true.