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Peanut butter. That’s right, peanut butter.

Now, what could be more American than peanut butter? You tell me.

Then when you add jelly, why you’ve reached the zenith, the pinnacle, of the good old USA. Hoist the flag, let the marching band play.

Hold on, now. Not so fast, Mr. Column Writer. Let’s look a bit closer. As comforting as PB&Jelly may be for a tyke who has suffered/experienced/incurred a little boo-boo, it is imperative that I pass along a caveat. It would be irresponsible not to.

So. Here goes: Peanut butter contains trace amounts of aflatoxin Bl, a natural but potent liver carcinogen produced by a common peanut mold. Some children, especially, cannot tolerate it. A minority of children? but still.

Do you like bacon? Did you know it contains dimethyltryptamine, a carcinogen? Anyone up for a bacon and eggs, or a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich? Just asking.

Do you ever use a Teflon pan? Teflon is made of a resin containing acrylonitrile, a carcinogen.

How about sugarless gum. You know, avoiding sugar is good for you. It has saccharin, a carcinogen, does sugarless gum.

Do you pump your own gas? It contains Benzene, a leukemogen. Are your shower curtains vinyl chloride, a liver carcinogen?

Own a cat or cats? Feline leukemia virus, which makes proper vaccinations from your vet very important, you know.

Use a deodorant? It contains aluminum chloralhydrate, which is potentially a problem.

The list goes on. I won’t. Suffice to say we live in a chemical saturated world. I mean, just look at the levels on a myriad of processed products. Take just two. Cool Whip and Dream Whip.

All of this is just simply how it is. As someone observed, future generations will have difficulty believing that spraying chemicals from the air -crop dusting – was once legal. How could they not know better, they’ll think.

Let me conclude this enlightening, uplifting sharing of information. No, you don’t even have to thank me. Know what I mean?