When the end draws near, Concha’s kindness is there
Published 6:00 pm Tuesday, December 17, 2024
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On any given month, Julia Concha, a hospice social worker at Gentiva Hospice, has anywhere from 55 to 75 patients she tries to see at least once per month, depending on the situation. She works not only with the patients but also with family members. “Everyone is going through some tough times,” said Concha. “The patient is dying, but there are also the family members who are trying to navigate their way through the death of a loved one.”
Concha said part of her job is to ensure the patient and family have everything planned out, such as a will, power of attorney, and funeral arrangements. And, then, there are emotional issues that are unique to each patient and their families.
“Some people are more okay than others with the fact that they are dying,” said Concha, “and then there are some who don’t even want to admit they are in hospice, which makes it really tough. You have to figure out how to talk about it, but in a not-so-direct manner. You are always walking a fine line, making sure individuals know what to expect and being comfortable with it at the same time. It also means dealing with family members, who are often the caregivers and need help facing the fact that a loved one is dying. Being a caregiver can be harder than a full-time job. It can get very tough at times, and I will tell the children, ‘they wiped your butt when you were a baby, now it is your turn to wipe theirs.’”
Concha admits that the work is not easy and becomes even more difficult the more she visits her patients and inevitably becomes more attached to them. “Sometimes you get really attached, and every once in a while, just have to have a good cry.”
One instance that stands out to her is when one of her female patients, whom she described as being very kind and having an incredibly soft heart, told her that she loved her and gave her a big hug. “As a social worker, you are taught that you are not supposed to say you love your patients or give them gifts, but I do,” said Concha. “I believe the human-to-human connection is what makes a difference in their lives, not just the kind of resources you can connect them with.”
Concha said it brings great joy to her to be able to get to know so many different people and be a part of her life during a very difficult time. “It is a common misconception that we are only there with them in the end, but we are there to support them and their families throughout the process,” said Concha. “You meet so many different kinds of folks along the way and learn about their lives and stories. If they are kind and loving, more people show up at their bedside at the end. Those who have been unable to show their feelings and love throughout their lives often spend their last days alone. Everyone is so different and has their little quirks.”
In the end, it is not only what Concha can give, but what she learns and receives along the way. “I get a lot back from my work, which is why I’m a social worker, to begin with,” said Concha. “I think it is very special that I get to be a part of this moment in their lives because it happens to everyone,”
“It makes me want to be kinder to people and show more love to everyone, even if I don’t know them. You never know how you are going to impact someone’s life. I want people to know I love them now and not wait until I’m on my deathbed, as I too, in the end, want to be around those who love me.”